Shattering the Stigma of Single Motherhood, One Beautiful Story At A Time

Shattering the Stigma of Single Motherhood, One Beautiful Story At A Time

It was an abrupt ending to what I expected to be a life-long marriage. Just a mere two weeks before my 2014 wedding, I went from planning a beautiful fall wedding and honeymoon, to sleeping on a futon at my dad’s house wondering what had just happened? 

My story sounds sad, but it really isn’t unique. There are over 15.6 million single moms in the U.S. alone, and as the divorce rate continues to stay at 40-50%, the number of single moms only continues to grow. 

While we all have our own unique twists to how we became a single mom, the shame, embarrassment, and lack of support we all share is not unique. In a new anthology releasing November 22, 2022 entitled Shattering the Stigma of Single Motherhood, Dr. Jillian Zambon along with 11 other authors, have stepped forward to share their trials and tribulations of being a single mom– and, more importantly, how they’ve overcome those challenges. 

These women have come forward from all walks of life. One woman is a single mom by choice, proactively making the decision that she wants to have children and raise them as her own, despite having no father involvement. We have a widow who is raising five children on her own, and was able to achieve one of her life’s dreams– picking up and moving cross country to California after the loss of her husband.

And, we have 10 women who are just like me and were in relationships that just did not work out– be it domestic violence, infidelity, or just falling out of love. From an outsider, our stories may sound sad–  like a bad ending to a movie.

But for us, this is how we have lived our lives for years. People ask us everyday, “How do you do it?” And the answer is simple. “We have to.”

Becoming a single mom is not a choice, but rather a blessing in disguise…although it doesn’t seem like it when you’re getting started! 

For me, becoming a single mom meant having to change my selfishness to selflessness. It meant finally putting down the alcohol bottle, and instead picking up a baby bottle. It meant being awake in the middle of the night, alone, with a baby– and enjoying every second of that special time to bond. 

And in the midst of the heart ache, the rejection, and the pain, a new found love for myself. A new strength, determination, and focus that I had never recognized in myself until now. The decision to be sober in order to take care of a baby, my baby, who deserved a life full of love and affection– whether she had one present parent or two. 

Rather than curl up in a ball and cry and wish I was dead, I took life by the horns and made the choice and the decision that I was going to do better. I was going to be a better person, mom, friend, sister, and daughter. I was going to live with purpose and integrity. And most importantly, I was going to make an impact on the world– no matter what. 

Here I am, eight years later, offering other women the platform to share their story. Not from the perspective of a victim, but from the perspective of a survivor who has walked through hell and back again, and has now bowed down to the difficulties that life has challenged her with. 

There is nothing these women haven’t shared, at the expense of their vulnerability and openness, I hope that other single moms will feel inspired to come forward and speak out as well. Finding yourself in the situation of being a single parent does not have to be the end of life for you. Instead, it gets to be your new beginning. 

If you are interested in sharing your story, please visit me at www.jillzambon.com and submit your application under the “Writing” tab. I can’t wait to meet you!

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